I went to see the 10:15 showing of The Passion last night. I didn't want to act like I had not and just keep blogging about other things that are less important (understatement).

I am still dealing with a lot of it...But there are two things that God has definitely help me to discern so far. 1.) Arrogance..."Who do I think I am to feel unhappy about any"circumstance" in my life,or to go so far as to complain,get angry feeling like I have been somehow been mistreated. I don't have to even deal with persecution for Christ's sake(even then we should praise God for being counted worthy of suffering for Him). 2.) "Love one another as I have loved you"...Of all the things in my life this is what I am most ashamed of...Not loving. I even dislike some people. How ? I have been loved beyond reason, I take and take and take His love,and give so little of it out. How selfish,and short sighted...I apologize to all who read this and have been hurt by my action or inaction in the past,please forgive me and help me by "bearing with me". I need to see it again and again anytime I try to lift myself up over anyone one else and do not think them better than me.

Why do you run,why do you hide or don't you know? I just,just want to be with you. (1x)
Looking down from above... as you watch TV. Wondering why... your ignoring me. Do you remember,remember when I came to you... and you loved me?
And I'm waiting for you,yes I'm waiting for you.
Why do you run,why do you hide,or dont you know I just ,just want to be with you.(1x)
Whatever happend to the love,...the love you had for me,when you first came to me. Dont you know that I died,died so I could be with you...forever. And I'm waiting for you,yes I'm waiting for you.
Why do you run,why do you hide or dont you know I just,just want to be with you.(1x)
Find a place of solitude and I'll speak to you...as you pray to me. Dont you know I'm waiting here,...waiting for you to read and hear my words. I'm waiting here missing the times,the times we shared,...oh please come to me.

Not to much to say,just an update.

Monday evenings ...I guess I am going to play volleyball.
Tuesday evenings...Todd has Wild at heart.
Wednesday evenings...Pioneer Clubs.
Thursday evenings... Kids choir and challenge formation meetings.
Friday evenings ...Family stuff.
most Saturday evenings ...Work.
Half of Sunday evenings ...Work or open.
Monday thru Friday day... Home school and ministry stuff with chores sprinkled though out,some shopping for food,and cooking ,working out occationaly,and reading or "doing" Signature Bible study,Growing kids Gods way,and personal quite time. I believe I will need bathing and sleeping sometime also. Summer has not even started, and that is my busy season. I will probably be quitting or taking the summer off from work. Right now the plan is to quit before challenge weekend,May 28-30. We will see...It really seems like they are doing everything they can to keep me happy so I wont quit, they work more around me than any of the other waitresses. I am in a really good spot,so it just doesn't make sense to make waves and quit at all then have to start all over again working to close every night I am scheduled. My manager finally likes and trusts me, I have a place of seniority. Plus its mentally easy...I know what I am doing and rarely screw up. So to me easy money and morally and ethically sound. Sure you can make money,lots more doing despicable things. But I am not comparing what I do with working at say a strip joint or casino. I have had no word from God as to what to do,so it makes the decision a hard one...Do I stay or do I go now?

ok...I will settle for anything furry that doens't require a litter box. My husband doesn't count because he leaves for work everyday.

that I would like to have a dog. Not just any dog but a Golden Retriever. The abolute best dog alive. Just thought I would mention it.

Happy birthday President Lincoln!


Painting the boys room blue and grey in honor of Tom Lang,who died in 2000. Actually those are just the colors that I have available in the garage.

With the Passion so quickly coming up,I thought this morning;after reading "Yesterday,Today,Forever...Jesus" by Bruce Marchiano. That I could share something revealed to me this past summer,it was in answer to the question"What was Jesus thinking and really feeling all the while he was on the cross, after God turned His face the other way not being able to even look on sin(which Jesus had become)?" I wondered if he was scared;...If He felt, and experienced this emotion known to man. I had been praying through the Psalms and read chapter 22:1-21...Is it just coincidence and those are just Davids words in prayer or is it a prophecy ,a glimpse into the heart of The Savior given to us to find( as a treasure buried in a field)? I know what I believe...


http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?language=english&passage=psalms+22%3A1-21&version=NIV

(the NKJV ...22:21 ends with "You have answered me")

Went to the Triple Dragon Buffet on Glynns birfday. That place is lots of fun! I had a great time. There was so much to pick from,it was like a really good garage sale. My fav was the sushi(thanks Jeff). I can seem to get enough, it wasn't real high quality like Nagasaki but it was included in the buffet. I thought for sure they would come over and say"you go now!" When we were all finished I went to the bathroom ,sat down to notice a note taped to the toilet paper dispenser..."Please put trash in the barsket". I kid you not. My first thought was "Engrish" then I thought "well, why do they need to tell people that? Have people been throwing trash in the toilet?" So I looked around and saw a trash can full of toilet paper.... I guess they cant give up some of the customs,shouldn't someone tell them its ok..."Paper go down the hole"? I hope the sushi chef doesn't part time as a janitor.

Oh yeah, there was also two chopstick on the floor in my stall, why were those in there?

My complaint has been made before... Sunday I got home from work around 5. Todd asked me how work was. My response..."Church people are the worst!" . Todd laughed and said that pastor David talked about that at church. I guess no one from CFC went out to eat that day at least they didn't come to Kipplee's. I am thinking about buying the tape from that service and handing it out next Sunday morning. I'll say it again..."I would much rather serve homosexuals and drunkards than "church people". No wonder Jesus hung out with prostitutes and sinners.

Ate too much at dinner and felt somewhat guilty...Todd was at Wild at Heart so I got out the DDR max. Wow, it had been a long time,New Years. But got several to AA that were formally lower. Got a new song..."Drop the Bomb". Just had to share that, it was fun because it was challenging but do-able. The title, on the other hand...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A4670-2004Feb2.html



whew...glad we knew that MTV and CBS could not be trusted and left the room during half time. Hopefully the FCC will rain down on them and the NFL will drop them on their bared ...(fill in the blank with any private body part they enjoy showing off during prime time)!

Well, football season is over...Not much to look forward to on TV now. Saw some of the new shows they advertised during the breaks,what a bunch of trash...One time I was forced to see a woman's bare butt (yes almost all of it,not just a portion)as she was leaning over the sink and an 8 year old boy sat 3 feet away staring at her...Unbelievable!

I am thankful that my husband does not entertain the TV tube anymore. It sits there lonely until we find a movie that we can watch. Not many of those available either. But we don't seem to have time ,life always seems to fill in the space. Even everyday tasks and get togethers if done in Christ's power and not my own is living the victorious ("abundant") life that puts forth the Faith that pleases God. But ,we are striving to allow only those things that honor God and bring us into closer fellowship with Him, not always successful... I am definitely a work in progress. Good thing the I don't have to do the work,I just spend time in his presence and relax in the masters hand. All that's required of me for fast growth is to be pliable and to say "yes,Lord,your will be done". I still bristle at some of his requests and think there coulda been a better way of handling the past,but isn't that foolish!